Angry Letters Of Heartwarming Love
by bunnygirl2012
Summary: So what happens when Kisame hits Itachi and is required to write him an apology? Rated M for Language. Very interesting.
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: So, my friend and I were bored in first block and yeah this is what happened. It all started with an apology letter…This is not meant to offend anyone… My friend and I both love Itachi and Kisame. She writes the part of Kisame and I write the part of Itachi._

_Enjoy._

_Ps. In hopes of trying to make things less confusing, everything in bold is Kisame._

**My dearest Itachi….ayh **_**(A/N the 'ayh' are pretty much like 'eh'**_**)**

** I'm so terribly sorry, ayh.**

** I should have been thinking with my head, ayh.**

** Not my fist, ****even if you deserved it, ****ayh.**

** Please accept this note of love, ayh,**

** And forgive me of my abusive tendencies…ayh.**

** Love, Kisame.**

Dear Kisame,

This is utter bullshit. This sucks…Terrible at writing apology notes. Go Steelers _(A/N: Steelers are a football team going to the Super Bowl.)_

Love, Itachi.

**Hey Itachi,**

** Take what you can get. You're lucky I even wrote this much. Be happy.**

** Love, Kisame.**

Loser Kisame,

You're lucky I'm a pacifist and I don't want to write you a note otherwise I'd stab you.

Sincerely, Itachi.

**Asshole Itachi, **

** You're lucky I'm too damn lazy, otherwise I'd reach over and chop your head off.**

** XOXO, Kisame.**

My Bitch Kisame,

Oh yeah? Well you're kind of a dick at times, not gonna lie. I wish we'd never been made partners; damn Pein.

Your Master, Itachi.

**Dickhead,**

** You know the only reason you're with me is the yaoi. Get over it. I got 2, and you have one. Pein put you with me because the others couldn't stand you.**

** Your Superior, Kisame.**

You sake of shit,

Fuck I don't even know why I'm with you for the sex. You're terrible in the sack. You follow along the lines of 'People with big swords are often compensating for something.'

With undying hate, Itachi.

Ps. I think one is fake.

**Blind bitch face,**

** You wish it was fake. You're the one who's constantly begging for them and screaming my name from the top of your lungs, EVERYTIME! You're blind.**

** The reason you touch yourself at night, Kisame.**

You blue asshole,

Oh no, it's FAKE! I know this for sure. Hidan told me that he saw you super gluing it to yourself after shoving it up your fat ass. Stupid whore!

Itachi

Ps. I'm going blind because I'm sick of looking at your f-ugly face.

**Your mother should have swallowed,**

** Hidan? Really? He's just pissed because I turned him down. He was angry I turned him down for you. He was sick of Kakuzu's limp dick and wanted both of mine. Besides, we both you got a sex change before you came into the Akatsuki.**

** -Kisame**

** Ps. Your brother is banging that Orochimaru freak because he misses me.**

Your daddy shouldn't have fucked a slut,

…I love you so much Kisame…. However, you're such a little slut. I'm the only one here who would fuck you. Everyone else here doesn't like you and they all think you're a fucking pussy. Loser.

-Itachi

Ps. The only you have another dick is so that when no one else wants to touch you, you can fuck yourself and get yourself off. Douche.

**Hypocritical Emotionless Bitch,**

** If I never get anything, how am I a slut? The only thing that you can bang are the whores under your jutsu and Orochimaru. Even your brother doesn't want you! If you really love me, get your ass in here and fight me face-to-face. Dickhead.**

** -Kisame**

Ahem, hello this is the author here. So after receiving that lovely note from Kisame, Itachi was no longer able to control his anger and he attacked Kisame. However, I am unable to inform of this fight; there are no words that can describe how intense it was. Needless to say, though, people were hurt and things were broken; Kakuzu was pretty pissed.

Afterwards:

Dear Kisame,

…..

-Itachi

A/N: so yeah, erm once again this is not meant to offend anyway, it was more for laughs. Hope you enjoyed. If you feel the need to, go ahead and review.


	2. Note from the Author

_To My readers,_

**Hello there to the person who is reading this story. This is the author speaking with a quick little note. First of all I would like to thank you for checking out this little umm whatever you want to call it that a friend and I wrote while we were bored in first block. Also, if you haven't read the reviews and you just happened to enjoy that random thing you just read and would like to read more, the co-creator and I are creating another account that will hold all of the works we create together. There will be more letters like that between the rest of the Akatsuki members (we've finished another one just waiting for co-creator to type it up. We also have another one in the process of being done, but once again waiting for Co-Creator) and perhaps other characters of the show. If you, as the reader, have ideas for pairings you'd like to see, than please let us know and we'll see what we can do. Oh another note, eventually we will hopefully have a real story, with a plot and everything, up but I have no idea when that will be so I wouldn't expect it anytime soon. I think that's about it, sorry for taking up so much of your time if you're still reading this. A link for the other account will follow below. **

_The author, Bunnygirl2012_

Ps.** If you would like to see more of just my work than just click on my name. I'd be most appreciative if you'd take a quick glance pretty please.**

**Account Link:  
.net/u/2728390/Kunny**


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